K twisted the lock on our bedroom door today and I didn’t notice before I shut the door to keep her out. So I worked on it for two hours and then called S in hopes that he would have more lockpicking knowledge than I did (despite my frantic googling). Turns out he didn’t, but we both worked at it anyway. Wound up removing the trim (that is gonna be fun to put back on, lemme tell ya) and finally got it open. (S was the one working on it at the time, so he gets the Win.) After a bit of inspection, we came to the realization that this was an exterior door lockset, on our interior door. The DIY genius behind “T-shirt wrapped pipes” and “backward-plumbed bathroom sink faucet” did it again. Exterior door lockset on interior door! No wonder it took so darned long to get in! I am just amazed and relieved we didn’t have to call a locksmith.
Add to this the fact that K handed her glass of orange juice to E and let her spill it all over the dining room carpet (yes, carpeted dining room – idiocy incarnate) and then while I was working on the lock for two hours, K got into a backpack I hadn’t realized was in the living room and pulled out the notebook I had at the Tutankhamun exhibit in Chicago when I was newly pregnant with E, and scribbled all over the awesome drawing I did of the large bust of Akhenaten. I could have cried, except I am too exhausted to. Plus, she hid the gift I have knitted for Kittenhead so I have to hunt it up and send it for her super belated birthday present. This weekend, I hope to finally finish up the birth announcements and send them before E turns 1 on the 14th. Wish me luck! It seems like I am a pint or two low on it right now.


I took them at their word, and went downstairs to turn the water back on. The water rushed out of the tap in the laundry room sink, disguising the sound of the torrent upstairs as water shot out of the aerator-free taps which were turned on full blast. When I got to the top of the stairs, I realized my error and flew into the bathroom to shut off the taps. I used every towel in sight to mop up. I can’t imagine how bad it could have been if I had been putzy on my way up the stairs.
It’s been with him for nearly 15 years, only two weeks less than I have. And now it’s in the hands of another young man. But he still has me! And that’s not going to change.
So I finally replaced the bathroom vanity light which has been slowly eating itself since we moved in nearly nine years ago. The center two lights in a four light fixture were out, and the shadows were consuming the room like some sort of damp Lovecraftian villain. As with many things in this house (see the Faucet post for reference points, I dare you), the wiring for the fixture was nonstandard and the ironic thing is that it was screwed into the wall with this bolt that seriously would have held up a rock climbing wall. Did these people hang bowling balls off their light fixtures? Getting it out of the wall was half the battle, and then I realized that the lovely cheap little
replacement interim fixture I got at IKEA was not going to cut the mustard because of where the wiring was situated in the wall. So I grabbed K and went to Lowe’s, ’cause we got a “spend your free money from the government that’s really not free and we’re taking out of your parents’ social security so you’ll have to put them in a crappier home in ten years” $10 off a $50 purchase project incentive card thingy in the mail that day (the 29th), and also because, y’know, I had the power for three rooms off at the circuit breaker and wires sticking out of the wall and stuff. I narrowed it down to three fixtures. Yes, I know it would be vaguely interesting with photos of the fixtures and that you
are just narrowly avoiding terminating this read and searching for Tapir pictures but come on now. Lowe’s has no photos whatsoever of the three fixtures I looked at. I searched through all 756 potential suspects to no avail. It was narrowed among a 5 light fixture in brushed nickel with frosted glass shades and no curves, a 3 light fixture in dark bronze with alabaster shades and curvy and Craftsman-style details (halogen lights, which was the ixnay), and the brushed nickel 3 light fixture with frosted white “chipped away at” looking shades with brushed nickel rings holding them in place that I bought. Which was on clearance. Which should have been my first clue.
discovered beneath the old fixture, so I wouldn’t need to dig out the Vanilla Frost paint can from 9 years ago to touch up. I got the thing out of the box and affixed the baseplate to the wall. Only to find that the dimensions are a good TWO INCHES shorter than the stated length on the box. Nice going, Lowe’s! I am deciding whether to bitch about it or not. I sure as hell am not taking it back off the wall at this point. (S checked it out last night and figured out that the dimensions on the box are the length from the end of one shade to the end of the other shade. Which doesn’t help me at all on the wall. Irritating.) I got the rest of it put up and added the compact fluorescent bulbs from IKEA and I must say, it looks darn swanky. Bigger and more involved a fixture than I was planning at this point, but I think it will work out. And the room seems waaaaaay brighter now.
